How much lifetime do I spend ...

... until I step into self-responsibility?

Today, the cat called Sushi I'm currently living with made me think about self-responsibility.

Sushi is supposed to take care of mouses, rats and other visitors that are not welcomed in the little hut, I’m living in during my stay on a beautiful farm property in Thailand. Usually, Shushi is fed by the hosts or guests, when they stay in the hut.

Lately, I heard something gnawing in one of the hut’s poles in the middle of the night. I talked to the host and he recommended not to feed Sushi for 2 days. Because her being interested in getting food by her own would depend massively on her “mood”. So, if there's no reason to for hunting, she simply wouldn’t do it.

Wind of change

Since the first morning I stopped feeding her Sushi would meow and complain a lot. And a lot means that she is more into hissing than meowing. Even during the second day she would not stop it and stoically wait next to her empty bowl for me dropping some food. Even if she would go for a hunt on the second day, she would quit her efforts immediatly as soon as she sees me.

This, at some point, became an interesting mirror for me.

Instead of accepting the (obvious) fact, that she wouldn’t get any food from me and therefore  going for a hunt, Sushi would complain.

Mirror, mirror on the wall

I thought about situations where in my life I had been clinging to and complaining about something that wasn’t there anymore. When something had changed and I wasn’t able to let go. Or not aware that I was holding onto it.

Very often, it took me a great effort and a lot of time for me to make peace with the change. To open up to it and allow myself to flow with the “new”.

The pattern looks like this:

• When there is an (unexpected) change, (like me not feeding Sushi anymore)

  
  

  I might fall into a resistance or/and into clinging. (complaining, sitting next to the empty bowl)

• This resistance/clinging is a blockage of energy/flow.

  
  

  With the resistance/clinging I block the energies inside me and don’t allow myself to go with life’s flow. 

• Here comes the awareness & self-responsibility part in:

  
  

  My part now is to raise my awareness to the change that had happened, and taking responsibility for how I relate to it. If I stay in the clinging, the blocking – or if I open up to the new and allow to flow again. To find a new (old) way. (taking care of herself, Sushi going hunting)

Stepping into self-responsibility

But how to step into self-responsibility? How do I acutally dissolve the blockages and find a creative way to relate to the (new) surroundings?

There are many different ways - and everyone has his/her own truth here.

Some of the answers might lay in questions like:

How do I raise my awareness? How is my self talk - and do I support myself or limit myself here? How much love, devotion and self-empowerment lays in the way I take care for myself - and how do I take care of myself? What are my needs - and how do I find out what my needs are? And, finally: How much lifetime do I want to spent – or how much pain do I need – until I step into self-responsibility? What means self-responsibility to me?

Do you know how your truth looks like?

If you have your answers to the questions below - congratulations! Then you have a good foundation to fly (even) high(er). If you feel quite lost or unsure with these questions (they might have also triggered you) I have something for you:

I invite you to go on an exploration to your truth with me. I'm here to support you on this journey and to create a safe space for you where curious exploring and full expressing are welcome. If you are interested, leave me a message via the contact form of my website. 

So much love to you,

Julia